A Stab in the Dark
by thought x crime
Summary: Sort of a continuation of "Whatever the Cat Drags In"... mainly about Seifer's acceptance into the Garden and how people react to him and Quistis
1. Part 1

"A Stab in the Dark" ~ by Allora Atwater  
  
A/N: Well, this is sort of a little follow-up to "Whatever the Cat Drags In"... it's basically about how Seifer and Squall come to terms with their rivalry. *Shrugs* Hope ya like it... thanks to everyone who stuck with me through WTCDI, I appreciate all your reviews! I dunno if I should turn this into a series about Seifer being in the Garden or what, so you tell me if it's worth continuing.  
  
Disclaimer: Don't you know by now that none of this is mine? None of it! All Squaresoft's!  
  
  
It's been a long time since I graced these halls. Everything looks so familiar, and yet so vague at the same time. I guess some of the students recognize me too... I keep hearing these barely audible whispers circulating, keep getting these bastardizing glares. It takes every ounce of strength I've got not to glare right back or start swearing like a sailor for that matter. Quistis reaches for my hand reassuringly but I let it go. I can handle things on my own; the only way to get things done is if you do em by yourself.   
  
I'm trying hard not to let this get to me cause I know I don't deserve any mercy from these people. I almost destroyed them all, on several accounts. I dunno how to atone for my actions, but the first step is proving that I can come back. From the looks on their faces, I think the students are shocked that I'm with the Instructor, and for once, we're not bickering. I let my arm slide around her shoulders for an extra boost of confidence, and she puts hers around my waist.  
  
"I hope this doesn't start a bunch of rumors." I comment, seeing that most people's eyes are about to fall out of their sockets. Quistis looks up at me with a peculiar expression.  
"Since when has Seifer Almasy cared what other people think of him?"  
"Since he fell in love with you." I reply, trying not to put too much force into my words. I didn't wanna overdo it with the mush. She's already turned me into some kinda softie, and I'm not gonna start sending her teddy bears with balloons that say 'I Wuv You'. How cheesy is that? That's no way to show a girl you care. That's a way of showing a girl you have no taste and you regard her as an immature flake. It's lucky for me that Quistis understands me enough to know that I care, and I'll show it in my own way. Sometimes I get the feeling she wants little things like roses and chocolates, but how does that seal a relationship? Flowers die and candy makes you fat. How romantic. Right. Gag me with a spoon while you're at it.  
  
I let go of her as we step onto the elevator and head for the third floor. She sees one of her students get off and waves at him. He's got a funny look on his face but waves back. The doors close and I lean on the railing, staring at the lit up buttons. Quistis puts a hand on my shoulder and I flinch.  
"Calm down Seifer."  
"I'm calm."  
"You're tense."  
"I am not."  
"You're clutching that rail like it's the only thing keeping you on your feet."  
I look down at my hands and my knuckles are draining color with the strain of my hold. I quickly let go.  
"Relax." she says, squeezing my shoulder. "I believe in you."  
"Thanks for the publice service announcement." I mutter, and she blushes. The doors slide open with an annoying little 'ding!' and I let her get off first.   
  
"Alright, I told Headmeaster Cid and Squall --"  
"Don'cha mean *Commander* Squall?" I sneer, and she gives me her warning look.  
"You aren't going to make it very far with that kind of attitude. Now listen... they don't know you're here. Which is why I'm going to talk to them first. When you go in there, be on your best behavior."  
I roll my eyes. "Yes mother, should I take out the trash while I'm at it?"  
She raises her hand like she's gonna slap me, but I grab it and force it to her side.  
"Now, now Instructor. That wouldn't be very nice." I whisper, raising my eyebrows suggestively.  
Quisty smiles and wraps her arms around my neck.  
"So sorry..." she trails off in mock apology, rising on her toes to kiss me. I seem to forget everything else at the moment as I return it with double the effort. And I thought the single life was fun. Damn was I wrong. She breaks the kiss just as I lean in for more, and I grunt. I hate when she holds out on me! But I always seem to obey her; I guess she has me wrapped around her finger now, even though that wasn't her intention.  
"No time for this now." the Instructor breathes, collecting herself quickly. It's nice to know I have lingering effects.  
"Alright. So I guess I'll be waitin' here till you get back. Don't keep me waiting too long."  
  
She nods and turns to open the door to Headmeaster Cid's office. I give her a little pinch on her backside as she starts in, and she turns around and swats at my hand. I smile at her innocently from my place in the corridor.  
"Instructor Trepe!" I hear Cid greet her as she walks in. "What a pleasure to see you my dear. What was it you wanted to speak with us about? Commander, say hello to the Instructor!"  
"Please, just call me Squall." I hear Puberty Boy groan. I can see him saying something like that. He ain't used to the power he's been given just yet. "And hello Quistis."  
"Hello yourselves." she replies, and I smile. That's my girl, straightforward and stubborn as a rusty nail. "I came in hopes that you would meet someone for me. Someone I think would be a great asset to Garden."  
I wince; she's setting them up for a disappointment.  
"Well Instructor Trepe, you've always had an eye for promising talent. Who is this person you're considering?"  
She pauses. "Seifer, you can come in now."  
I hesitate, forcing my legs to carry me into the room. Cid is sitting at the desk, Squall standing to his side, and Quistis moves to stand with me.  
"Tell them what you told me Seifer." she encourages. I look to the Headmaster who seems startled. Squall's eyes flash with anger and spite. I cast my eyes to my feet. Quistis turns to leave, but I grab her hand, beckoning her to my side.  
"Stay." I keep my voice low, but I know both Cid and Squall can hear me. She nods, relaxing into me.  
"Seifer Almasy," Cid speaks up, peering at me from the rim of his glasses. "I never imagined the day when I would see you again."  
The feeling's mutual buddy, I think, but I can't win anyone's trust with that kinda remark. I swallow my pride and resolve to meet his inquiring gaze.  
"I stayed as far away from Garden as I could without leaving the shores of Balamb. I had enough sense to know that my reputation here has been sealed in the books, that I'm despised by many."  
"Then why did you come back?" Squall asks, his temper flaring just a tad. I'm surprised he hasn't hounded me yet.  
"A few reasons." I shrug. "Edea's orphanage and Balamb Garden were the only homes I ever knew. I wanted... I've been wanting the chance to come back, to take things seriously and reach my goals for once. I'm not a dock worker, I'm a warrior. My muscles ache to battle and my mind is craving stimulation. And now that I've got my heart in the right place, I'm asking for the chance to prove myself again."  
Squall narrows his eyes; he doesn't believe me. Cid just stares pensively.  
"I knew this was a bad idea." I mumble, turning to walk away. Quistis stops me.  
"Seifer, I know you better than anyone and I know you're going to make a mistake if you walk out those doors."  
  
I sigh. She's right as usual.   
"You're right." I voice my thoughts, walking up to Cid's desk with strengthened resolve. "I know I'm not gonna win you guys over by being on my best behavior while I'm in here. But I want you to know that I mean everything I say. I want to start over, I want the chance to reach my real dream. I know my betrayal in the past will stain my record, but I wasn't fully myself as I'm sure you're aware of. And I've grown up and come to terms with everything that's important to me."  
Cid's eyes reveal sympathy and compassion, which I loathe, but accept. Squall doesn't appear very moved.  
"No one's stopping you from coming back."  
"That's not really true." I say, walking towards him. "Our rivalry is one of the many things that's stopping me from coming back."  
"Only because you let it rage on."  
"But the look in your eyes tell me you haven't forgotten it either."  
"If I may interrupt," Quistis blurts, stepping to the desk. "I don't think it should be a secret that Seifer and I are together. And I wouldn't be with him if I didn't have total trust and faith in him. I'm not saying you both need to forget about past mistakes, but I am saying you should forgive them."  
  
I look at Squall, noting the scar between his eyes, reaching up to touch my own with a smirk.  
"These marks will always be a symbol of our past." I murmur. "But there's no need for this to go on anymore. So maybe we'll never be friends, but for the good of everyone here, let's just agree on a truce, eh?"  
I hold out my hand reluctantly, hoping he'll accept it. Truthfully, I'm not ready to end our rivalry. There's still so much resentment burning in my gut for him, but I gotta control it and do what's best. He glares hard at me, his eyes telling me that he won't forget our history either, but he knows it's for the best as well. Slowly, cautiously, he takes my hand firmly, giving it one pronounce shake before dropping it idly back to his side.   
  
To Be Continued...??  



	2. Part 2

"A Stab In The Dark -- Part 2" -- by Allora Atwater  
  
A/N: You guys are really expecting something of me this time around so I hope I don't screw up your expectations! This will take a lot longer to write than the first series cause I have to put a lot more effort into making this realistic with getting OOC! This chapter took me FOREVER just to write. But, as always, thanks for the comments. Oh and BTW, does anyone know what Xu does? I mean I know she's like Cid's assisstant or something, but does she have a certain title? Or name for what she does? It's been awhile since I played the game o.O And I'm planning on writing something about her (another POV fic -- got the idea from Kat) so this is important!   
  
Disclaimer: *getting creative* Lalalalalalala FF8 belongs to Square Lalalalalalalala And not me! Lalalalalalala *glass breaks* ARGH! Look what you made me do!  
  
  
Maybe I should feel honored. After all, I'm sure my handshake was the only gesture of peace Squall's ever accepted in his life. Maybe my skin should stop crawling, maybe I should feel a sense of relief. But I don't. It's there, just as strong as ever. The thing is, we'd both like to think we're too mature now to settle this dispute with our weapons. But that's ultimately the only way it'll ever be resolved. I mentally shake my head; pick your battles wisely Seifer.  
  
I bow my head and turned to the Headmaster, who seems to be preoccupied making paperclip scuptures.  
"Headmaster Cid?" I address him, trying not to smirk. He hurriedly puts down his artwork and clears his throat.  
"Seifer, I respect your decision to come back to Garden, and I will support it in any way I can. But that does not mean I can prevent any leftover hostility. You understand that right?"  
"I understand." My voice sounds grim in my own ears. Cid stands and shakes my hand.  
"Then welcome back to Garden, Mr. Almasy."  
I don't know what to do at this point; jump over the desk and give him a big hug of gratitude? Fall to my knees and kiss the ground? The thought of me doing such things is pretty amusing; I have to admit, if anyone else were doing it I'd probably be laughing my ass off. But I made a promise to myself, a promise to Quistis, and a promise to Garden; I'd regain everyone's trust and win their respect. I have no time to mess around with the idea of falling back into old habits.  
  
I duck my chin and swivel on my heel to face Quistis. She gives me The Look, the one I really hate, the one that makes me feel so pathetic. She has this way of tilting her head, meeting my gaze with her glassy, misted-over eyes, one side of her mouth tugging upwards. It means she's proud of me and surprised that I handled things so maturely. I appreciate it that she cares, but it makes it seem like she's trying to protect me, and I don't want that. I'm the one that's supposed to be protecting her.  
  
"Thank you Headmaster." she says primly. I lightly drape an arm about her and we walk out the door. I look back once to catch ol' Iceberg Leonheart's glare, returning it with a quick flick of my eyebrow. The atmosphere is still unsettled, but at least I'm home, and hopefully I'll be here to stay. Quisty pipes up the moment I shut the oak doors behind us.  
  
"You did great back there." she tells me earnestly. I scoff at her words. She's saying it like I completed some impossible task, like I did something amazing that I deserve a medal for.  
"Whatever." I remark, making her laugh and wiggle out from under my arm.  
"You sound like Squall," she says, her eyes twinkling fondly. Great, that's just what I needed to hear. The woman I love tells me I'm starting to resemble my arch nemesis, the guy who has always gotten the best of me in every situation. I touch my scar and smirk. At least he didn't come out of it unscathed.  
"Well," she goes on. "I really am proud of you for keeping your cool. You really have grown up."  
"Woo-hoo. Pat me on the back cause I don't give a --" she covers my mouth before I have the chance to make an infraction and say something I shouldn't. I kiss her fingertips and her hand instantly shies away, going back to clasping my own. She's really insecure about displaying affections. I don't think she's used to engaging in stuff like this where other people could easily walk in on us. Then again, she's an Instructor and she has to maintain a professional appearance. I grin at her, taking her other hand in mine and placing them on my shoulders.  
"You know," she starts, feigning annoyance. "If you're gonna do this all day you might as well --"  
I cut her off with a kiss. Hmmph. That sure got her to quit complaining now didn't it? I slide one hand to the back of her neck, playing with the end of her ponytail.  
  
"Oh please, I just ate!" a girl's voice interrupts us. Quistis yanks away, tucking stray locks of gold behind her ears.  
I just put my head in my hand. Why now? I turn to see Xu walking out of the elevator, carrying a bundle of files under one arm and an iced mocha in the other. Yuck. Coffee. I hate coffee. Cold coffee, hot coffee, black coffee, creamed coffee. I could make a Dr. Suess-esque book about why I hate coffee and all the places I refuse to drink it. I only had it once, to impress the Instructor with my adult habits. Damn did I have a tough time choking that crap down. I decide to share my thoughts with Xu for lack of anything better to say. I mean, how do you recover when someone catches you in the middle of a "moment"?   
"Gross. Mocha sucks." Quistis nudges me in the ribs.  
"Seifer Almasy huh?" the girl looks me up and down in a critical fashion. "Quistis dear, you could do so much better than this sad excuse for a man."  
I raise my eyebrows, daring her to elaborate. She just shakes her head and laughs, while Quistis offers a calm explanation.  
"I never said he was a man." Quistis shrugs, a girly little smile forming on her lips.  
"You'll regret saying that tonight." I retaliate, giddy as a schoolgirl when Quistis assumes the appearance of a cherry, her voice catching in her throat. I'm making it up of course, and the Instructor knows that by immediately jumping on the defense, she'll look even more guilty. Xu shoots us a questioning look, but then shakes her head, changing her mind apparently.  
"Never mind, I don't think I wanna know." she hustles past us. "They're looking for you down at the cafeteria Instructor. Though I wouldn't suggest bringing that buffoon with you."  
"Buffoon? Is that some kinda monkey?" But Xu shuts the door without answering. Quistis leans her head against my shoulder.  
"You're thinking of baboon." she answers. I wrinkle my nose. Sometimes I hate having an active imagination; now the visualization of my head on a monkey's body is gonna be stuck in my thought process all day.  
"So," I begin, trying to act casual as we step onto the elevator. "Everyone's in the cafeteria?"  
"That's what Xu said." she replies dryly. The Seifer-monkey in my mind just dons a fez.   
  
My confrontation with Cid and Squall was easier than I expected. I can't say I'm completely satisfied with the results, but it was worth the effort. Quistis helped me realize that I can't live in a trashy apartment in Balamb, working my days as a dockhand forever. Eventually I'd get too old and lose my youthful strength and endurance. And coming from a guy who has no proof of education, no diploma, no nothin', I'll eventually get stuck in circles. I don't wanna be a deadbeat, working odd jobs all my life, especially when I know I have potential as a SeeD. I just don't have the discipline yet.  
  
I cross my arms over my chest and breathe a loud sigh, startling Quistis out of her own reminiscence. I guess I make a show out of everthing I do. People always said I was melodramatic.  
"Thinking too much lately?" she inquires, a smile playing on her lips.  
I shrug. "You know me. Straining my lazy brain cells to get through life."  
"Oh come on!" she slaps my shoulder. It's meant to be playful but it stings like rugburn. I resist the urge to cringe.  
She folds our hands together and puts them under her chin, her bright eyes gazing up at me shyly.  
"Where's the Seifer I know?" she questions, pressing my knuckles to her lips. "You aren't being your normal cocky self. That worries me. Could it be that you're a little anxious?"  
  
The doors slide open and the same annoying little 'ding!' sounds off. I use it as an excuse not to answer her as we step out of the elevator and head down the hall. Of course, the whispers, the stares, they don't cease. Many of them are fearful, hesitant, a few of them spiteful, but for the most part, they're curious. Wondering why I'm here, hand-in-hand with Instructor Trepe, showing my scarred visage back at Garden. Some small, insecure part of me wants to hold Quistis in front of me like a shield, blocking all the negativity thrown my way. But the larger part of my rationality tells me that this is hard on her too, being torn between her reputation and her heart. It's nice to know she listens to her heart.   
  
One thing I had always remembered thinking about the Instructor, aside from how cute she'd be if she took down her silly little hairdo, was that she took her job too seriously. She was obviously fit for the position; strict, proper, down-to-business type. Sure she was pretty, but she reminded me more of a mother than she did of a teenage girl. Really... clean. Like those girls who model skin-care products. It's an unjust comparison, but that's what I got for thinking back then. She always had the last word in everything, and it usually had something to do with being safe or something. Whenever I'd mumble a cheap goodbye after class, she'd stare down at her paperwork and utter, "Take care Seifer."  
  
I glance down at her and grin to myself. Who'd of thought I'd end up falling in love with her? We've only officially been "together" for about two weeks, but that's all the time it took for her to cast her spell on me. I wonder where I'd be if she hadn't come along? She's practically my savior; I talk to her and she talks back, treating me like I'm a person and not a vindictive monster. She's basically the only one that can look at me with a distinct fondness. Great, what the hell am I thinking now? I swear, I need to get back into playing the self-centered jerk again just so I can feel more at home in my own skin.  
  
As soon as we reach the entrance to the cafeteria, I see them. The cowboy, the Sorceress, the messenger girl, and ol' Chickenwuss, sitting at a table together, laughing their heads off at something Selphie said. From the look on her face, I don't think she intended to make a joke, but she's laughing anyway so she doesn't spoil the fun. I feel my nerves balling up again, halting my feet as Quistis tries to lead me inside. She turns around, noticing my reluctance.  
  
Normally I wouldn't let shit like this get to me, at least on the outside. All my life, I admit, I've had some serious indentity issues, wanting one thing but pushing it away as fast I could by doing another. I longed to be part of their inner circle, the group of friends that seemed to go through hell and back in a matter of weeks. Instead I gave them the impression that I was some self-absorbed prick who craved nothing but power and didn't need anyone else to get it. One thing people failed to recognize was that I was acting just like Squall, only more vocal. I never let myself get close to others, too wrapped up in my own personal affairs to listen to their words, regarded as an insensitive jerk all the time... the difference was, I voiced my opinions a lot more liberally. And for awhile, I don't think Squall really wanted any friends. I was just the opposite. I wanted to be admired, be respected... I wanted to belong. And now I see the little group; all people I've betrayed or tormented in some way. I tried to kill these people.   
  
My fear had been building up to this point; this was the climax. And I couldn't face it. They had all stood side by side to the end, brothers and sisters in arms, fighting for themselves and each other. My absence in that battle signified my absence in their hearts, and ultimately in their lives. How could I ask them for forgiveness anyways? I didn't deserve any compassion they could give me, not that they'd be willing to give me anything so kind. Maybe I'd get pity at the very most, but that's something I refuse to accept.  
  
"What's wrong *now*?" Quistis asks, slight irritation lacing her tone. I bow my head. For acting like such a hard-ass, I can be such a whiner sometimes.  
"I don't wanna go in there." I reply lamely. She puts her hands on her hips and peers up at my face.  
"You didn't want to talk to Cid, you didn't want to make amends with Squall... you didn't even want to get out of bed this morning. Is there anything you *do* want?"  
I almost answer her question with a lewd comment, but decide against it. I'm already uncomfortable enough being back at Garden, I don't need my only emotional support beating the crap outta me. What a grand entrance that would make.  
"It's easy for you to say cause these people like you! You didn't commit treason and try to get them all obliterated! They don't look at you like they wanna skin you alive and feed you to a pack of hungry Toramas!"  
She puts a hand on my forehead, I suppose in the way a mother would after her kid had a bad dream. I wouldn't really know, I don't rememeber my real mother, and back at the orphanage I'd never run to Matron if I had a nightmare. I refused to acknowledge any sort of weakness, even back then.  
"Seifer, you aren't going to get anything accomplished if you keep acting like a child. You need to face your demons eventually, or they'll haunt you in your old lifestyle. And then you'll spend your years wondering about what could have been."  
  
I sigh, and she grabs my hand, forcing me into the cafeteria. I let her yank me to their table as she calls out, "Hey guys, I'm here." They all look up from their conversation to welcome her into it, but before they can greet her back, they notice me. Their smiles morph into looks of astonishment. I awkwardly wave at them.  
"Nice to see y'all too." I mumble. Quistis leans up and pecks me on the cheek, still holding my hand and giving it a squeeze.  
"Seifer was readmitted into Garden today." she informs them. Chickenwuss nearly chokes on a hotdog.  
"Put too much relish on that?" I comment weakly, trying not to make another bad impression.  
"What the hell is *he* doing here?" Zell directs it at Quistis.  
"He's my boyfriend." she replies hotly. It's kinda weird, hearing her refer to me as her 'boyfriend'. I never thought we were really the boyfriend/girlfriend type. But it's kinda nice to know I have a significant title. "And he's enrolling in Garden to become a SeeD, just like you."  
  
There's an odd silence. Selphie is looking at me with curiosity from her spot on Irvine's lap, the latter of the two has his eyebrows raised inquisitively. Rinoa is the first to push her chair back and stand up, putting one hand on my shoulder and the other on Quisty's.  
"Well, it's about time you both settled down. I think you make a wonderful couple." she glances back to the others for agreement. "Don't you guys think?"  
Zell shifts in his seat. Selphie sticks her tongue out.  
"Sure." she then looks to me. "Been awhile captain!" She does a little salute. I almost respond with something sarcastic, but I bear in mind that she isn't mocking me. So I salute back. The messenger girl appears pleased. Now for the cowboy that's holding her. I never got to associate with him much after our days in the orphanage. I had long lost the race to become a SeeD when Squall had recruited him. The only thing I recall about Irvine is his talent as a sharpshooter. I was, after all, forced into battle with him during the Sorceress' parade in Deiling. But I'm sure my actions while under Ultimacia's control affected him too. I lean over and extend a hand to him, and he lifts his from Selphie's waist to take mine. Like Squall, he has a firm, solid handshake.  
"Seifer." he says, tipping his hat.  
"Irvine." I reply in same.  
  
Zell is looking at me, confused. I think he's startled by my behavior. Hell, I'm surprising myself more than anyone.  
"How's it goin', Chickenwuss?" I grin, snapping him out of his trance. His face turns bright red and I'm expecting to engage in a battle of wits, but he breaks his fury with a laugh.  
"You're still the same asshole you've always been Seifer."  
"It's good to be back," I answer. Rinoa motions for me and Quistis to have a seat. Everyone's gaze shifts towards us.  
"Sooo?" Rinoa prods, gesturing between Quistis and I. "When did this happen?"  
I shake my head. Great, I'm stuck in the middle of girl talk. Zell and Irvine appear to be thinking the same thing, only their curiosity gets the better of them.  
"Well," Quistis begins, laying her head on my shoulder. "I was really getting bored with my life, tired of the same thing every day. So around two months ago --"  
"A month and three weeks." I correct.  
"I went down to Balamb in search of something to do, something to waste my weekend on. And that's when I found Seifer."  
Zell snickers. "Waste your weekend eh? Hanging out with Seifer's the best way to do it."  
"Keep it up punk." I sneer. "I'll have my gunblade soon enough and you'll be cursing the day you crossed my path."  
Zell waves his hands above his head and puts on a very bored expression. "Oh no, Seifer has used another timeless cliche on me, what am I to do?"  
"Eat your last hotdog before I do." Selphie replies, reaching out for his plate. "Hold me back Irvy! I'm goin' in for the kill!" She pretends Irvine is the only thing stopping her from stealing Zell's' lunch, which is fairly amusing, considering she could easily break out of his loos grasp. The Chickenwuss downs the rest of his sacred hotdog, opening his mouth to display the chewed-up remains for Selphie's viewing pleasure.  
"Grooooss!" she squeals, chucking a package of salt at him.  
"Y'know, the cafeteria's hotdogs aren't really made of meat..." I begin. Everyone groans. "It's true! I had to work in the kitchen for a week as punishment and I got to see where they really come from."  
"Ewww!" Rinoa shrieks, burying her face in her hands. "Please don't tell me what I'm blindly putting in my stomach!"  
  
I look at Rinoa and a question appears in my mind.  
"What are you doing here?" I blurt out.  
"Same to you prick!" Zell replies. I shake my head.  
"I didn't mean it like that. I just meant.. well..."  
Rinoa laughs. "It's okay. I'm a SeeD now too. Mr. Kramer encouraged me to take the test and plus I didn't wanna leave all my friends here... and I didn't want Squall to bend the rules for me." She shrugs. Bend the rules? I guess she means that since she's the Commander's girlfriend, he could've given her free room and board. Hell, I woulda taken the offer. But then again, I don't have the honor of being Squall's significant other. What a damn shame.  
"Oh, I get it. Are you all SeeD's now?" I ask, and the group collectively nods. The lump in my throat is back. They've all succeeded, all the people I've forsaken have accomplished something I've tried multiple times to do.  
"Cool, hey maybe I'll know what it's like by the time I'm 40."  
I'm grateful for their laughter. It'll take awhile to fit in with them, but I'm gonna do it. As long as I know I have Quistis, I'll keep trying. I stand up.  
"Well, it's been fun but I'm gonna go and find Fujin and Raijin now. I still need to pack up my crap and move in to a dorm here. You know how breathtakingly fun that's gonna be."  
"Do you want me to go with you?" Quistis asks, the look in her eyes saying 'do you NEED me to go with you?'. I have to handle things on my own eventually. I kiss her gently on the forehead. "Nah, don't worry your pretty little head off about it. I'll be just fine on my own."  
"Awww!" Zell pipes up. "Get the camera! Seifer-weifer's taking his first steps on his own!"  
I roll my eyes. "Have fun scarfing down your processed Chocobo -- I mean hotdog." I turn around and head towards the exit.  
"Hey --- is that really what they're made of? Seifer you lying son of a bitch, come back here!"   
The group starts laughing again, at Zell's expense or my own, I don't really know. Don't care either. It's been too much of a day, I need to get out of here. I need to be around people who understand me, people I don't feel like I need to impress.  
  
Fuijin and Raijin have always shown me a loyalty beyond words. They've stuck by me through thick and thin, never questioning my motives. They've always trusted me to do the right thing, and I've continually let them down by betraying their trust and dragging them into things that've ruined their reputations. I want to see them now, find out what's really been going on these past months I've hidden away in Balamb. On my way down the hall, I pass none other then Leonheart himself. He's probably heading towards the cafeteria to be with his friends... friends he doesn't deserve. Hell, what am I thinking? Like I've done anything to deserve the friends I've got? I don't have Quistis to hide behind, and he notes that as he comes around the curve. I lift my chin a little, trying not to make eye contact with him. He seems to be doing the same. As we brush past each other, our shoulders graze (purely accidental, I assure you) and I feel a spark. Not the kind fron static electricity. The kind that spawns from a deep resentment. This should be getting very interesting very soon...  
  
To Be Continued  
  
A/N: Not as good as I thought it would be. The chapters will get longer as I go too. Hopefully, this will be about twice as long as my last series (I'm estimating) but it'll take a lot longer for me to finish. *Shrugs* I've been busy lately, sorry! Anyways, I'm thinking about revising this but I wanted to get it up ASAP. Tell me what'cha think!  
  
Oh, and by the way, I was wondering if any of you thought about this too... in the game, do all of the male characters seem to have their pants pulled up a little bit too high? *Shrugs* Blame the sugar rush for that question, but seriously! Look how high there pants are! 0.o   



	3. Part 3

"A Stab In The Dark -- Part 3" - by Allora Atwater  
  
A/N: Well, okay here it is finally! This one took even longer than the last (ugghh) so I hope you like it. I want to clear a few things up before you read though; Fujin will be talking normally, with a few exceptions. Why? Well, we all know she's capable of it and it's just too hard for me to characterize her when she screams monosyllabic answers. Nothin' personal, I like her, it's just too much of a hassle and she won't be written as well. And I know some of you wanted to see the actual reunion of the DC, but I really don't feel confident in my ability to portray something like that. So you're stuck with this, which'll be just as good, and answer any questions! Again, sorry for the wait, but here is chapter 3 in all its glory!  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine. Squaresoft's. Okay?  
  
  
"DISGUSTING." Fujin comments upon entering my less-than-tidy bachelor pad. Maybe she's referring to the unmade bed, the week's worth of laundry on the floor, the overflowing trashcan. I don't know. It's home to me, as it has been for half a year. I kick a can out of the way as we walk in, carefully dodging any booby traps I may have accidentally set for myself. Raijin latches the door behind us.  
  
"What a place man. You actually live here?" Raijin looks slightly incredulous. Damn, I woulda thought being a man and all, he could appreciate my distaste for housekeeping and such. I guess I don't know him as well as I used to.  
"Lived." I reply coolly, gesturing for them to have a seat. "As of tonight, I'll be back at Garden, stuffed up in a conformist dorm room."  
  
Fujin unfolds a couple of unmatching beach chairs and she and Raijin have a seat. Apparently, they aren't too impressed with the way I've been living. Admittedly, I haven't had the time to keep the place nice and tidy. I had no friends to impress, I wasn't bringing any women over, and I sure as hell didn't prefer to spend my time milling around this dinky little hell hole. It's too confined for me; I prefer to spend my spare time at my secret hideaway beneath the plank. Before Quistis came into my life, I used to go there every day after work and sit in the sand, just listening to the sounds and inhaling the smells of the sea. I could get away from myself and just not have to think about anything. It was the only place I could clear my head, temporarily relieve the guilt that plagued me. After all I'm only human; I feel remorse just like any other man.  
  
Compared to the stiff restrictions at Garden, my little apartment must seem like a shack to them. They live in a clean, healthy environment, with enough discipline to take care of their respective rooms. Then again, they're blessed with free room and board; they haven't had to make ends meet for the past six months. I have to pay my rent, buy my groceries, maintain my personal hygiene, and still get enough sleep to wake up at the crack of dawn every morning. It's been a tough lifestyle, hardening and exhausting to say the least.   
  
"It's great that you're comin' back to Garden, ya know?" Raijin informs me, resting his feet on a dilapadated old coffee table. "We've really missed ya, the DC just ain't the same without ya."  
"Yeah?" I say, feeling a twinge of nostalgia. "How you guys been?"  
Fujin folds her hands in her lap. "Like Raijin said, not the same."  
"Yeah," Raijin agrees, rubbing his arm. "We've been doin' a good job whippin' everybody in shape an' all, but without you, it ain't as fun. We used to be a posse ya know, best friends for life. And when you weren't around, it was like a job, not a committee."  
"We're glad you're coming back." Fujin adds. "It will be more like old times."  
  
I turn away and head towards my inadequate little kitchen, reaching below the sink to pull out a trash bag. I hate having to hide from their words, but I do anyways. I don't understand their devotion, nor do I really deserve it. They act like nothing has happened these past months, like we're still best friends. I thought at first that was what I wanted, to pretend away all the bad and try to banish any misgivings about the past. Forgive and forget. But now my conscience rages at me; they should be angry, they should be resentful. They should hate me for dragging them down, holding them back. I stained their hands with blood, nearly got them killed. Maybe people like me weren't meant to understand compassion and forgiveness. Maybe I really am a heartless fuck.  
  
I shake away the uncertainty; no use feeling this way again. After all, it was the overwhelming wave of failure, the pressure to be something I wasn't, that drove me away from reality. In my quest to become stronger, I succumbed to my own weakness. Walking back into the front room, I notice Fujin and Raijin exchanging whispers, instantly hushed when they realize I'm present. I ignore them and head on over to my bed, throwing heaps of clothes into the bag, ripping the sheets off my mattress and tossing them in too. I have no concept of proper laundering; I don't separate my whites from my darks or pay attention to any special cleaning instructions. Hell, not that I would own anything fancy enough for drycleaning. If you can't throw it in the sink with the dishes, it's too much of a hassle to own.  
  
"Seifer..." Raijin begins while I'm busily amassing my entire wardrobe into the bag. "You alright man? You seem kinda stressed, ya know?"  
I shrug. "Man, I don't know about this."  
"Know about what?" Fujin asks calmly. I pause, wondering if it's a good idea to be saying this. I know by now that nothing I can say will ever shred the way they think of me, but that's the least of my concerns. I'm worried that if I let my insecurities surface, I won't be able to fight them back down.  
"Ehh, just this whole going back to Garden experience." I reply, careful not to say too much. The sun is setting outside, casting shadows in the room. I reach up to tug on the light fixture, the dim bulb flickering on and illuminating the room. To give you an idea, it's kinda like the lighting in a bar; you know, "mood lighting", without putting you in the mood for anything but drinking yourself silly. "Let there be light." I mutter, minus the melodrama.  
"You need to get out more, ya know?" Raijin tells me, rising to his feet and folding the chair up, tossing it back in its respected corner. Fujin follows suit, only more graceful about handling my personal stuff. "We should all go out to the pub tonight and celebrate our reunion. Sound like a good idea?"  
  
I mull over the thought for a minute, squandering off to gather my few possessions; a toothbrush, Hyperion, and a notebook I use for scribbling random thoughts. You'd think I'd have more items of value, but really I don't. No keepsakes, no trivial little ornamentals, just the bare necessities. When you're a workaholic coupled with an intense love for sleep, you really don't have time for much else. None of the furniture here belongs to me either, so it looks like I'm off with my bag of clothes and my gunblade.  
  
"Celebrate eh?" I repeat as I flick the switch off in the bathroom. "What'dya have in mind?"  
"Ah, nothin' too fancy. Just a couple drinks, cheap food, and good company, ya know? So how 'bout it?"  
I heft the bag over my shoulder and head for the door, fumbling to find my keys.  
"Let's go then."  
Raijin thumps his chest proudly, and Fujin gives him a swift kick in the shins.  
"IDIOT."  
I laugh at them and Fujin actually blushes.  
"SORRY."  
  
I open the door and usher them outside, a rush of frosty air greeting us like a smack in the face. The sunset over the water is gorgeous; the rippling waves reflect sparkling discrepencies of rose, rust, and scarlet. I close my eyes for a beat, searching deep within my memory bank, concentration lacing my brow. I raise my hand towards the sky and cast Holy, opening my eyes in time to see a ball of soft light hover over the ocean and dissipate into a thousand glittering shards. Ha, you want entertainment? Fujin and Raijin turn to me questionably, after the initial surprise of my demonstration.  
  
"Didn't think I had it in me didja?" I grin slyly, securing both locks on the door before leading my friends down the decrepit staircase. Of course, I'll never be able to utilize magic in the way it was intended. It takes too much time and effort for me. The ability comes naturally with some people, who can cast a spell without batting an eyelash. For me, it takes a lot more than the snap of a finger. That's why I rely on my gunblade to get me out of a dire situation.  
  
"You're jus' full of surprises Seifer, ya know?" Raijin comments, shaking his head. Fujin nods in agreement.  
"The same as always."  
The same? They think I'm still the same egomaniac I was six months ago? Am I? The silvery jangle of my keys is all I offer in reply as we head towards the entrance of the complex. I waltz up to the front desk, my confidantes dogging behind.  
"Almasy?" the old man behind the counter squints up at me. "You get evicted yet?"  
"Sorry gramps, no such luck. Although I think you'll be pleased to know that I'm moving out, as of this evening."  
"Moving out, eh? Dag nammit, I knew I shoulda milked you for all you was worth 'fore somethin' like this reared up..."  
I laugh. Mr. Shutey can be pretty entertaining for a senile old geezer.  
"Don't worry," I assure him. "I have the keys and this month's rent with me. Consider it a parting gift."  
He shakes his head at my offering of 300 gil, full knowing I owe him almost double the amount.  
"I must be gettin' soft in my young age..." he mumbles, taking the money anyways and hanging the keys back up on the wall. "What a wonder I let you get away with this crap Almasy..."  
"Oh come on Mr. Shutey. My payment technically isn't due until the first of next month, which, by my calculations, is 2 weeks away. So I'm paying for the time I spent, since I'm obviously not planning on being here another night. Really now, if you're such a stickler about this whole rent business, maybe you should enforce a rule about this. Like, giving 2 weeks notice prior to evacuation." Ah yes, charm and skill can get you everywhere in the world.  
Mr. Shutey regards me with wry amusement, his shaggy eyebrows drawn together.  
"There *is* a rule about giving 2 weeks notice before you just decide to up and leave."  
Strike one, dipshit. "Oh... is there?"  
"Howzabout you scram and pretend you never saw me, alright Almasy?"  
I waste no time. "Yessir, sounds like a plan." I smack the counter for emphasis and turn on a heel, careful not to look back. Hey, no one ever said I was the most thoughtful guy on earth. I would probably benefit from a more... structured plan before I decide to go jumping into things. Oh well, I suppose it'll go on my List of Things To Do eventually.  
  
"What was that all about?" Fujin inquires as we head out the double doors.  
"Oh that?" I jerk my thumb towards the front desk. "That's Mr. Shutey. He runs the place. Apparently he's damn glad I'm outta here too."  
Don't see why, I think to myself. That shabby dump is overrun with dastardly dockhands who reel in during the wee hours of the night, drunk and dishevled, looking to start a riot. I've always been pretty well mannered, and I've never caused that old man any grief. So I'm the one he decides to begrudge? I can finally empathize with that old saying, 'nice guys finish last'. No fucking wonder.  
  
"So Seifer, I was thinkin' along the lines of the Balamb Pub. What'dya say?"  
"Eh," I reply, throwing my belongings into the trunk of our rental car. "Been there, done that. Food's mediocre, drinks ain't that hard, and the women are so-so. I have a small place in mind run by an accquaintance. I'm sure it's our best bet."  
"You're the boss." Raijin replies coolly, and I tense up a little. I can't believe he still treats me like his fearless leader. I open the door for Fujin and proceed to hop in the backseat.  
"Alright then. Take Balamb to 40th and hang a left. It should be the second building on the right hand side."  
I clutch the door handle as Raijin gears up and speeds along the bumpy road. I'm sure it would be wise at this point to fasten my seatbelt, but I don't like the way that feels. The restraint makes me too uncomfortable, like being bound by a ball and chain or something. I've felt the confines of manipulation one too many times, and therefore I've grown to loathe the feel of anything -- or anyone -- tying me down.   
  
Raijin takes a sharp turn and I hear Fujin groan from the front seat.  
"SLOW..." she moans loudly, clutching her stomach. I lean forward between the seats, propping my elbows on either side of the modest leather.  
"I think the lady here is in danger of spewing up her guts. Might wanna hit the brakes a little Raij."  
He complies, slowing down a little as we reach the parking lot. I hop out, a little disoriented from being off my feet; I'm not accustomed to riding along in a car. Especially at Raijin's devil-may-care, bat-outta-hell, get-outta-my-way-or-I'll-run-your-sorry-ass-over pace. Fujin regains composure and we uniformly head towards the entrace of the little no-name hole in the wall.  
  
I feel so alive and empowered in the brisk night. I have my posse with me, my neverending reserve of confidence and pride, and a sense of determination. Tomorrow I'll be going back to Garden, working my ass off to be an elite SeeD, cramming training sessions and study time into my schedule, working on rebuilding a rep for myself... but tonight, ha. It's Saturday night and I plan on getting railed till my liver screams for mercy. All I need is one night of reckless abandon and then I'm off, scot-free, to become an elitist snob.  
  
I hold the door open for my companions, little bells ringing to announce the presence of a much-needed customer. A perky redhead dashes out of the kitchen to seat us.  
"Hey Seifer!" she squeaks, straightening her skirt. "Nice to see ya so soon!"  
"Business not too good these days Sirina?" I ask as she guides us to our table. The lights are low and cheesy, and there are very few customers here tonight. Most of them are older couples enjoying a quiet night together. I guess all the real partying is taking place back at the pub.  
"It's not lookin' up for us." she sighs. "By the way, don't think I've met your friends here."  
I step aside and gesture to my left. "Oh yeah, this is Raijin and Fujin, my two friends in this lonely world."  
"Pleased to meetcha." she extends a hand to Fujin, then Raijin. "Any friend of Seifer's is a friend of mine. Speaking of which, where's that broad you always drag in here with ya?"  
I sit down across from my friends. Fujin folds her hands on top of the table and Raijin shifts in the booth, waiting for me to respond.  
"The Instructor?" I reply calmly. "She probably has a date with a stack of paperwork. God knows her job is more important to her than I am. Anyways, you wanna fix us up with a round Siri?"  
She winks at me. "The usual?"  
"Double shot. Singles for these two."  
"Comin' right up." Sirina smiles and disappears into the kitchen once again. I lean back, my arms crossed behind my head.  
  
"This isn't really a place to get drinks, is it?" Fujin raises an eyebrow at me. A few customers have noticed her patch and are trying hard not to seem like they're intrigued. I asked her about that once, about how she felt when onlookers gawked at her physical appearance. She told me that she didn't blame them, that their curiosity was only natural in the face of an oddity they had not yet encountered. I don't see how she can condone that kind of behavior; if I had some type of physcial handicap, I'd raise hell with anyone who dared do a doubletake.  
"No," I answer with a smirk. "But like I said, I'm in good with the owners. I can pull a few strings and get us the best of the best."  
  
"So how has it been, workin' out here?" Raijin inquires, leaning forward with interest.  
"Not too bad." I drum my fingers on the edge of the table. "It isn't a walk in the park though. You get bossed around a lot, get to play the mule for the big man in charge. But the pay is decent and I work too hard to care for much else. At least now it's over and done with. I get to go back to being a student and trainee."  
"Amen to that." Fujin half-smiles at my admission. "We're so happy that you're coming back."  
"Yeah, I know, you've told me like, a million times."  
We share a small laugh and Sirina arrives with a tray.  
"Here ya go!" she chimes, setting down three tall glasses in front of us. "You just tell me if you want more and I'll be happy to fill 'er back up."  
"Oh, I think this will do us just fine." I respond, sliding mine in front of me and taking a sip from one of the straws.  
Raijin pokes at his. "What's this?"  
"This," I begin, taking another sip. "Is called a Mansion Mind Eraser. Try it, it tastes like a chocolate milkshake."  
"What's in it?" Fujin presses.  
"Oh Hyne, you guys act like I'm gonna poison you. It's Kahlua, Bailey's, and Rum with 7-Up on ice. It's awesome, and it lives up to it's name. C'mon, bottoms up."  
I yank the straws out of mine and down it quickly, like a shot. Fujin and Raijin develop a taste for it and begin sucking theirs down too. I never liked the way liquor felt going down; the burning sensation always made me uncomfortable. Tonight is no exception. The alcohol sloshes around in my stomach like fire and brimstone. I spit an ice cube back in my empty glass.  
  
Sirina comes back periodically to refill Raijin's glass. I opt for a second round, but after that my mind is too muddled to remember what day of the week it is. Fujin is a lightweight; she's tipsy after half a glass and still mildly working it down. Raijin is downright plastered, sputtering incoherent phrases and laughing his ass off at the silliest of things. I don't really know about myself; I mean, I'm not outside looking in. I can feel a smile straining my lips, and I sense the peevish glowers the other customers are sending our way. It's only a matter of time before we're the last ones in the place.  
  
I fold my arms over the table and lay my head down on them. Raijin's incessant babbling is giving me a headache. When I force my head back up, I notice Fujin is gone. Great, missing in action. Hope she's not doing anything but paying homage to the porcelain god in the girls' room. I kick Raijin in the shins, seeing as his partner isn't there to do it for me.  
"Where'd Fu go?" Raijin waves his hand in the opposite direction, gesturing outside. My eyes follow the movement and see Fujin's back to the window, apparently talking to someone. She nods her head and points inside several times as she speaks. I plant my palms on the table, lifting myself up as best I can.  
"I'll be right back Raij. Here," I drop 30 gil on the table. "Make sure you pay Siri when she gets back. And for the love of Hyne, don't drink anything else for the rest of the night."  
"Aye cap'ain." he grins, fumbling with a sloppy salute.  
  
I saunter towards the exit, my vision a little blurry with each step; it feels like someone is shaking the earth below me. When I reach the door, I spend a good five beats trying to pull when the lettering by the handle clearly reads "push". Fujin and her little friend seem to notice my distress as I stumble outside, a cold breeze numbing my flaming cheeks. Maybe I'm not as stable as I'd like to think.  
"Seifer?" the voice is familiar. "Sweet Shiva, are you drunk too?"  
She walks up to me and puts her hands on my shoulders, steadying me. Wait, I'm swaying?  
"Look at you. What a mess."  
My ears feel warm. She runs a finger along my profile, alerting my senses.  
"Fujin, you might wanna get the keys from Raijin. It looks like I'm the only one who's sober enough to get us back to Garden."  
"AFFIRMATIVE." Fujin replies firmly. I hear the little bells as she opens the door. Funny, they keep ringing long after the door has closed.  
  
After a minute's hesitation I blurt out, "What're you doin' here?"  
"Looking for you." Quistis replies, resting her hands on her hips sternly. "You were supposed to be back at Garden hours ago."  
I rub the side of my face wearily as we walk towards the car. "Keeping tabs on me now?"  
"As a matter of fact I am. If you ever want to succeed, you aren't going to do it by screwing off like this."  
I shut my eyes tightly, trying to block out the harsh streetlights.  
"I don't need your help Instructor. After all, you didn't seem to care back when I was your student, why should you give a rat's ass now?"  
She clutches my arm, her nails digging mercilessly into my bicep.  
"We all make mistakes Seifer, and I was hoping now that we've started anew you could forget about the past and concentrate on molding the future. You're very lucky that you've been given a second chance to fulfill your dreams. Not many people in this world are blessed with that luxury, and the ones that are fortunate enough to get that opportunity usually make the most of it."  
I pound the fender with my fist.  
"I don't fucking care about other people! I'm not other people, I'm me, and I'll do whatever the fuck I want!"  
Quistis shakes her head, blinking back tears.  
"You better pray to Hyne you forget all of this by sunrise. You're making a complete ass of yourself."  
"I don't care about Hyne!" I practically yell, kicking at a broken bottle. "I don't even believe in Hyne!"  
"You're losing it Seifer," she whispers sadly. "How can you even say something like that when Hyne has given you so much to be thankful for?"   
"Oh really?" I sneer, taking measured steps towards her. "Then where was Hyne when I became the Sorceress' personal bitch slave? Where was Hyne when Galbadia waged war against Balamb?"   
My fingers curl into a fist. "Where the *fuck* was Hyne when Ultimecia compressed time?"  
  
Quistis wrinkles her nose at my alcohol-fogged breath, taking a step back and examining me closely.  
"If Hyne exists," I finish. "Then he's got a sick sense of humor." We stand in silence for a minute before she turns away to look at the scene unfolding before us. Fujin enlists the help of two bus boys to carry Raijin out to the car, the latter of the two grumbling about how he can walk of his own accord. Fujin proceeds ahead, holding the keys out to Quistis.  
"Thank you." she nods, turning back to me. "Get in the car Seifer."  
I comply, no longer in the mood to start another fight. I can already tell I'm in enough trouble with her as it is. If I dig myself any deeper into this hole, I'll end up in Esthar.  
"I call shotgun," I mutter lamely as I hop in the front seat. Raijin bumps his head before getting situated in the car, groaning a little at his helpers' apologies. Fujin climbs in next to him, helping him fasten his seat belt. Quistis thanks the two bus boys for their assistance and hands them a few gil for their pains. One of them is looking at her the wrong way; I have half a mind to get out of the car and start something with him, but that's just the liquor talking. She slides in the driver's seat and adjusts the settings so she can reach the pedals. The sound of the ignition roaring is enough to split my head in two.  
  
The drive back to Garden is silent, save for Raijin's soft snores. My sinuses are throbbing and I feel slightly lightheaded, but the effects of the alcohol are slowly wearing off. Quistis is staring straight ahead at the road in front of us, her cerulean eyes glassy from unshed tears. I know I hurt her feelings with my recklessness. I'm not the most sensitive guy when it comes to a woman's heart, and I know I should probably say something to ease the blows I dealt her earlier. She's done a lot for me by taking me under her wing and looking out for my wellbeing. I feel like a jerk for taking advantage of that. Imagine that, Seifer Almasy, remorseful over being a jackass. I can't say it's the first time I've ever felt this kind of regret, but I'll admit it's the first time I've ever resolved to do something about it.  
"Look..." I begin, putting my hand lightly over hers. "About what I said..."  
"Don't worry about it." she responds, sounding almost dejected. "I knew what I was getting into beforehand. I was sure I was bound to be met with a lot of resistance, just like I was when you were my student. But this time, I'm not going to give up and overlook the blossoming desideratum."  
"Do you even know what you're saying?" I ask calmly.  
"Not really, but I figure it sounds good." she grins softly and I return the gesture, closing my fingers around hers. We both know better than that.  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
A/N: Sorry if that was kinda boring or whatever. I know, not a lot of Quisty in there, sorry! Next chapter: Seifer joins the Garden Festival Committee! ^o^ 


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